Author: Meagan

My mind mentally prepared the holiday table – I’ll buy the table cloths with pumpkins and turkeys.  Seating?  I’ll have to borrow tables and chairs – I’ll need twenty-three chairs.  As my imagination navigated the Thanksgiving table, I could see one chair that remained empty. I could see it plain as day, that empty chair silently sitting among the others filled … reminding me I’d be without my daughter this year, her absence had a seat in my heart. 

 

As much as a loved one’s presence is felt, their absence is felt too.

 

May we talk about this hard, and good season?  Many of us are going without a loved one this year, and the years to come.  Parents are adjusting to empty beds come Christmas morning, and there are those adjusting to a newly filled grave … hard season? Yes.  If you’re struggling to find some good, it is here, too.  The good you may be looking for is found in the greatest expression of love given to us –

Immanuel, God with us (Matthew 1:23). 

 

As my mind stared at the empty chair, feelings of grief were deeply felt.  Grief is unexpressed love and holding onto it is a way of staying close to the people we’ve lost or are missing.  Perhaps you too find yourself holding onto grief in an attempt of keeping the one you love near?  It’s OK – there was an empty seat in Heaven too, and grief is what brought Jesus to us – an expression of love needed to be given.

 

In Hebrews chapter 11 verse 1, we’re shown a chair that sat empty for a time so that we may know and experience the greatest expression of love this world has ever, and will ever know.

 

“He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.   After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,”

 

Jesus’s chair sat empty as God gave Him to us.  I wonder that looked like?  Did Jesus simply stand up and instantly be present in Mary’s womb?  Did Jesus wave goodbye to God?  Did He say something like, “I’ll be back when the work is complete.”?  One thing we know for sure, Heaven knew of Jesus’ absence and watched as He was born into our iniquities and grew to know our grief …

 

“He was despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.  Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.”  Isaiah 53:3-5

 

Jesus left His chair empty for you, so that He may know your pain, your grief, and your brokenness.  Jesus is acquainted with empty chairs.

 

The empty chair in your home, the one that holds the weight of your grief – let it also remind you the Lord purposefully draws near the brokenhearted, He purposefully left His chair empty that you may know His companionship.

 

For those grieving this Christmas season, may I encourage you with this … when we express love, we release the grip of grief,  why? – because Jesus is the ultimate expression  of love, when we express Him, we receive Him. He chose to leave His  seat empty in Heaven that we may know His presence on Earth. 

 

There is something you have that another needs, love.  Your grief reveals what you need – you need to express your love.  The more you give it away, the more you’ll experience Jesus’ love and grief will loose it’s grip. 

 

Make a phone call, send a letter, have the meet-up, give the gifts, extend a hand, … you are the expression of Jesus’ love, a love that understands grief. 

 

Blessings,

There are mornings when memories play like old movies behind my eyes before getting out of bed.  Memories of when my daughters were young; holding their small bodies as they fell asleep, the way their face would perfectly nuzzle into my neck . . . the day their car drove away with suitcase packed.  I haven’t decided if I’m grateful or saddened by these memory clips that run behind my eyes … only that their there, they happened, and that time will never return.  It’s an odd thing, that sadness and gratefulness can mix … those who grieve understand.

 

I also feel unqualified to share that I’m still grieving two empty bedrooms.  These days have been hard for so many that I know.  I’ve seen too many bury a loved one and here I am, sad that mine are simply not home anymore.

 

Years ago, during a bible study (I can’t recall what the study was about) … my friend shared the events of his bad day; frustration, busyness – the cruel realities of his story had us all nodding along with understanding.  Then, another friend spoke up – she shared her day’s event of being in chemo, and the realities of grieving an expectation that didn’t become a reality. 

 

For anyone listening to the two stories, it would have been easy to say my first friend had nothing to complain about, his story seemed miniscule and almost disrespectful to the woman who was suffering the greatest . . . I watched as his face and shoulders dropped simultaneously at her story of a crushing day . . . and I felt him disappear within himself as he didn’t share again for the rest of the evening.

 

Has that ever happened to you?  You’ll get courageous and be vulnerable only to have someone else’s story leave you feeling, “I got nothing to complain about?”  And that’s good if it helps you see with grateful perspective … However, let’s keep the comparison out of what hurts. Because what we end up doing, is create a standard of which pain is worthy of giving attention to.  This creates a false narrative of the truth about God’s loving attention toward us.

 

Back to the bible study, the next day God whispered an entire impression on my heart that caused me to call my friend . . . “There are no degrees of pain that are more or less worthy of God’s attention.”  It’s true – if there is one thing we all understand, it is pain.  Whether it’s physical pain, emotional pain, grieving, or the pain of hardships … there is not one human being on this planet that can’t relate to being or feeling hurt … pain is what unites us as human beings and it’s what motivates us to extend a hand of help. 

• Pain is relatable and it’s what causes us to reach for another; for help or to be a helper.
• Pain reveals what’s important to us.
• Pain fuels our prayers.
• Pain reminds us we’re human, in need of a God who is stronger and more capable than us.

 

If you’re processing pain, you’re not alone.  Remember, God’s attention is toward you.  On your good days or bad days, there is no level of pain more or less worthy of His care for you . . . His love is not measured by the severity of your pain; He has no scale at which He uses to measure what is deemed attention worthy.  No matter what your pain is – emotional, physical, perhaps the hard reality that life is not what you expected or hoped it to be right now . . . 

You’re pain is not going unseen – God’s attention is toward you.

 

As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
For the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
And its place remembers it no more.
But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting
On those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
To such as keep His covenant,
And to those who remember His commandments to do them.

Psalm 103

Blessings,

What are you learning?  I love that question; it isn’t asked often enough.  There is a lot of “knowledge” and “know-for-sure’s” being shared, especially in a world of “know-it-all’s”.  It seems only those in academics (especially children) get asked that question –  “What are you learning?” … and while math and history are important, it’s the trials of life that give us the best lessons.  From childhood to adulthood – we never stop learning because life never stops handing out lessons.

 

Have you ever heard of, Grounding?  One of my daughter’s would walk everywhere barefoot – in the mud, grass, stones … sidewalks, either she hated shoes or simply embraced her hippie persona; either way she was continuously Grounding.  There is a science to this:

“Humans are bioelectrical beings that carry a positive charge, which can build up in our bodies.  Earth has a negative charge. When we make contact through grounding, we discharge our excess energy, producing a healing effect at the cellular level. The simplest form involves walking barefoot in the grass, dirt, or sand.” https://greatist.com/grow/grounding

 

Turns out my hippie daughter was on to something.

 

When you ask the question, what are you learning? – this grounding effect happens.  The built-up stress that pulls your shoulders together, or the tears that are always one blink away … they seemingly release their grip when we identify our burden as a place of learning.

 

When the burn of rejection left me deeply wounded – it felt like a path of jagged stones on tender feet.  Weeks into the heartache, I learned I was having an adulterous love affair with the justice I desired … it consumed my thoughts. 

I learned God is jealous for my thoughts too – and to be mindful of what I’m giving my affection (my inward attention) toward.  

 

In the midst of funeral service after funeral service . . .

I’ve learned weeping and rejoicing together are communal acts of love. One is not greater than another, simply an offering of oneself to encourage and validate another’s heart. 

 

When you ask yourself, “What have I learned or am learning?” you’re creating your own walking path … one of tender grasses that allow the pain of the season or trial,  find a way of escape.

 

As Ann Voskamp is counting her blessings (a valid and lovely way of worship) … I’m listing my lessons.  Lessons that have given footing into the unknown and lessons that have given places of rest where peace consumed my heart. 

 

Perhaps you’re going through a hard season where blessings feel far off . . .

 

May I gently encourage you to see the lesson at hand? … What are you learning, friend?   It’s an inward question – one that asks you to bare your heart before you ask God for a solution.  This question will reveal your weakness, your insecurities, your pain … and it’s the best place to receive God’s love, direction, and hope.

 

Lessons are all around, God is continuously teaching and guiding us onto paths of discharge – His love releases our burden (another lesson learned). 

 

With His love,

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. … 1 Corinthians 13

---

Being a new mom is challenging. Throw in an intensely strong-willed toddler, along with a constantly nursing baby – and a husband who is home for eight hours every third day – and there I was, a young mom in the throes of a sweet and turbulent new season. 

 

I should also mention I was newly saved with a well-maintained and highly functioning people pleasing handicap.  Fear and guilt of disappointing family left me emotionally and physically placing others well above my own emotional and physical needs. 

 

With two children always in my arms and nowhere to go – church became my two-day-a-week social outing.  One evening during an altar call, the gentleman speaker began to pray over me.  He tapped me on my collar bone while stating these words, “Your husband comes first.” . . .  Nothing more.  Weeping was an understatement – his words flooded my heart with guilt, condemnation, and more feelings of loneliness and exhaustion.  Did he not see the one-year-old on my hip, the three-year-old clasping my leg?  Did he not see the dark circles under my eyes, my shirt covered in baby milk drool? … Did he not see my head bow in the weight of trying, trying, trying … ?  How was I supposed to try harder than I already was?  How was I suppose to put my husband first when I saw him every few days and babies that needed me? 

 

No.  This “praying man” heard a “word” and spoke it through a filter of “knowing” instead of loving.  Loving the wounded and understanding her pain.  This man’s words rattled through my heart as he tapped on my emotionally fragile collar bone.  His words left me confused, hurt, and exhausted with yet another person to please. 

---

That night happened decades ago, sadly, my story merges with countless others who have been given words that hurt rather than healed.  There will be church people in our lives who speak without compassion or understanding – however, we can do better.  We can be a people who offer living water, refreshed hope, and a shoulder of understanding.  However, we must lean into the value of relationship before we offer our two-cents worth of instruction.  

 

Church – what if God gave you knowledge to show you how to love another?  What if He gave you insight so you may speak to their heart instead of their actions you disagree with? 

 

That night, decades ago … what if that praying man would have said, “I see your weariness, your husband is weary too – as you both lean into Jesus, He’ll give you strength.”   

 

Being seen is better than being told.

 

If we have not love, “we gain nothing”.  That night, decades ago – there was nothing gained for Christ.  If we are to call one another to the altar, be willing to expose your cross and places of your death before you point a finger at their heart handicaps.   I believe humility and honesty speak the love that gains space and opens doors for Jesus’ love to pour through. 

 

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”  Philippians 1:21

Church, let’s give them Jesus. ♥

I believe every person you meet is going through some type of transition.  I’ve been transitioning for the past three years.  Slowly, the bedrooms in my home are becoming less occupied … traditions are changing, schedules are opening, and life feels oddly right.  Perhaps you too feel a change – a new school, new job, new home, new relationship?  Transitions can feel uncomfortable, they press us into areas that demand our choice and our action – and it’s all a part of God’s plan.

 

Being in a transition is proof of growing – spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

 

Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall – God uses seasons to reveal Himself to us as well as teach us how to transition.  In the transition predictability is disrupted, routines are changed, and what once comforted may now becoming irritations.  This transitional place can feel like you’re neither here nor there – with no clear plan or next step.  Yet, there is something (or Someone) who lures you forward, who allows the discomfort to persuade your movement onward, who loves you enough to not leave you stunted in growth.

 

Jesus gave us an illustration to explain the transition He was going through and would ultimately prophesy His death . . .  Yet, when we examine the simplicity of the content, we can see the plan God gives us to understand and embrace our transitions.  

 

 John 12:24 – “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

 

• Transition happens after a growing season:  “Falls to the ground” implies growth.
• Transition accompanies rest:  Regular seeds must spend time drying to a critical level before they will germinate.
• Transition ends with death to one season and begins with life for the new season:  Death to seasons are imminent – let that not sadden us, but let us rejoice in an ever faithful God who created the seasons to lure us, persuade us, and motivate us onward to His eternal love.  With death comes new life – and onward to new seasons filled with hope, full of potential, and through Holy Spirit – encouraged to grow!

 

We can understand the process of transitions based on God’s illustrations – not only can we understand them, we can find comfort knowing that He designed transition to happen for our benefit.  As we transition, we’ll have seeds grown through struggles, rested in His care, and ready to offer life and hope to another.

 

The transition you feel – the seasonal shift that is upon us, it’s been choregraphed by our Creator.  Not for you worry or fear, but to embrace with His grace and knowledge; He is using this season to bring you closer to His love.  Will you pray and obey?  Will you trust in the midst of death to old seasons and old ways?  Will you rest in faith and in the comfort of His Word?  And will you tell of your lessons, your struggles, and your new found hope?

 

Keep on keeping on, right into the next season! 

Blessings,