Meagan, Author at Meagan View

Judge Not, Silent Therapy

His leash dragged on the floor of the department store, he walked slowly as his hip bulged with an under the skin growth … he was old. I could see his age in the grey hairs around his nose. Where shiny black hair used to cover him, it was now greying and dull. He wore a bright orange vest that read, “Therapy Dog” with worn and faded threads that looked as if it had been worn for several outings. He stayed close to his owner, willingly without a hand holding him.

His owner, a grey-haired man with a faded Vietnam Veteran hat that gave insight to his age and history; a short and slender man with faded arm tattoos and deep wrinkles around his eyes. His black torn t-shirt and faded blue jeans with the oil stains made the partnership between dog and man seemingly connected and loyal.

As the man searched the dog followed.

“Dogs offer so much therapy.” a friend proclaimed as he talked about his new puppy. I’d never thought about the therapy a dog offers – only its service. Sure, I’d seen our elderly dog (going on 15 years now) be a faithful companion to my daughters. She’s done it all from chasing a four-wheeler to playing dress-up … our little Cairn/Bichon mix brought joy and companionship to my girls. Now that my older girls have moved out – she sleeps a lot, growing older and continuously resting at my feet.

I didn’t think I needed therapy until I got a dog.

Can therapy be silent? I didn’t think so – therapy meant person to person discussion, reliving and sorting emotions, trauma, and finding closure to heart pained events. There is a reason empty-nesters, veterans, elderly, and broken people, get pets … we need something to love us and choose us. When we have no words to offer and acceptance of our season of life is mandatory – when wrestling with an empty nest feels like an empty next … perhaps a little therapy does a heart good.

My lab/bulldog mix puppy is obnoxious – he’s a year-old terminator who will chew a shoe, greet you with a nose in your crotch, and demand walks, runs, and frisbee throws … and I love him. He chooses me over anyone else, follows me, watches me … and mostly obeys. Most of all, the therapy he gives is joy and a willingness to be with me no matter where I’m going or resting.

So, the next time someone’s dog irritates you or causes you to judge a person for loving on their pets so much … chances are, that person is in need of a little therapy, a little love from something that chooses them. And mostly, some joy in their life that comes from a silent and faithful companion.

Blessings,

Things To Know When Traveling With an Introvert

You may be thinking, they never want to go anywhere! That’s not entirely true, we introverts like to see new sights and enjoy fun entertainment … we just like them during slow seasons when other people aren’t crowding our space. If you’re traveling with a ‘less than excited’ introvert – I have some tips that will give you some relational brownie points and get you both excited about vacation!

As an introverted wife, married to a extraverted husband – there are times when our ideas of vacation differ drastically. From beaches to mountains, and to a crowded cruise line (that one inspired a panic attack) … our ideas of vacation have differed over the years. As means to find some enjoyment with each other on vacation – I have a few tips for you . . .

They will require some comforts of home –

At the end of a beach day or sight-seeing day – we introverts crave getting settled again. Our settling comforts from home help us unwind and feel grounded again. Things like our cozy blanket, fuzzy pajamas or essential oils – these small things give us pleasure! I’ll let you in on a little secret, this vacation – I’m taking my Keurig! It may sound silly however, while others are standing in the kitchen waiting to get their cup filled, I will be waking quietly in my room (brewed coffee in hand) avoiding the morning chitter-chatter. Allow your introvert to bring from home the items they feel most at home with. You’ll score bonus points if you mention that there is space in the travel compartments for their comforts – this shows them you care enough to notice what makes them happy.

Give them time to listen without the need to respond –

We love your stories … or rather … we love you! Therefore, we will patiently listen while you retell your work saga or recall a funny memory. Please don’t stop communicating to us or think your words aren’t important to us; however, there will be times when we need to not have to respond. When you see us reading or popping in earbuds – take this as a hint that we are recharging and enjoying the thoughts in our head. We introvert’s love to think, however the need to respond can be tiring if we haven’t had ample time with our own thoughts.

It’s not personal, we just need alone time –

Introverts tend to take in more than words – we also feel the emotions of those talking to us. As well as absorb the environment we’re in. For instance, if we’re in a crowded room with loud music, our nerves get stimulated generously. It’s like getting constant static shock – we need time to get away from the stimulus. If you’re traveling with kids, begin to instruct them about “quiet time” and recognize when it’s needed. When we see our needs being valued and respected – you’ll experience a happier and more willing traveling companion.

Give us time to small talk our way into conversation

The reason small talk is exhausting to an introvert is because we simply can’t think topically. Where extraverts can get recharged exchanging facts and pleasantries – we need to dive deep where undiscovered and unspoken thought is waiting to be discovered. It’s a neurological fact that our brain pathways are longer, needing more thoughtful stimuli. Whereas an extravert are shorter, needing smaller and quicker spurts of thought. We certainly enjoy bringing our brain to the conversation! We love to ask pondering questions. When you see your introvert doing this – engage them. Often times introverts feel alone because people simply do not engage their level of conversation.

The best part about traveling with an introvert is their ability to see and hear things you may have missed. They will pick up on subtle colors in the sunset and remember how you made them feel at the dinner table. They will embrace moments and recall their emotions at a later time. When you travel with an introvert they will add depth to the vacation … when you acknowledge and value their perspectives, you’ll gain their excitement and longing for future adventures together.

If you’re an introvert, drop a comment tip you’d love for your extraverted spouse or friend to know!

Happy travels!

Ask Yourself This Question

Have you ever found yourself mumbling the question, “What am I doing with my life?” For me, this question usually arises after I’ve seen someone become successful doing what they love, or moments when I’m bored with my daily routines. Am I the only one who questions what my life’s ambitions should be? Or what I will do when x,y, & z happen?

What will I do when homeschooling comes to an end? Should I be navigating toward something else? … Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?

If you ever wonder what you’re supposed to be doing on planet earth, I’d like to help you solve that riddle with one simple question – What are the challenges you say yes to?

At the age of eight, I wanted to be an astronaut. Pair the sense of adventure with math and … I’m out. Math quickly overcame my desire to soar into outer space. Challenge, not accepted.

My guidance counselor tried setting my purposeful course too – when he asked what I wanted to do upon leaving high school, I said with shrugged shoulders, “Be an artist.” His response took the wind and hope out of my directional sails, “OK.” looking down at his papers, “Let’s find you a real job.” Hello business management courses. After a few years of unsuccessful schooling, good bye college.

My daughter enjoys watching the television show, Shark Tank. Shark Tank is an American business reality television series that has a panel of celebrity entrepreneurs such as Mark Cuban, Kevin O’Leary, and Lori Greiner. These multi-million dollar business celebrities engage in business proposals. This show gives me anxiety – I feel every desperate emotion presented in every desperate sales pitch. It’s as if every contestant has found their life’s purpose in whatever idea or invention they’ve come up with. They’ve sacrificed time, money, and reputation to see their product succeed with great monetary success. They’re so focused – and I feel like a loser by not having the ambition and drive they have.

Simultaneously, I find it exhausting and encouraging to watch. The problem with shows like Shark Tank is that our purpose is not a bottom line, marketing technique, or percentage of gross sales – and we’ve settled to the idea that our purpose must be wrapped in money to experience value in it.

What are the challenges you’ve said yes to?

Personally, I’ve said yes to marriage when I could have focused on college. I’ve said yes to children when I could have placed my energy into a career. Yes, to homeschooling when the public school is next door to me. All these moments were calling moments, why? Because every one of them came with challenges I was willing to accept.

The challenges you’ve accepted reveal the God given gifts in you; gifts and talents that lead to life fulfilling moments, seasons, and purposeful direction. I’m convinced searching for our purpose in life is as easy as watching what challenges we grab onto.

My oldest daughter will challenge herself physically with great tenacity (always did) – she is now embarking on the Air Force with medical endeavors in mind. If I’d challenged her to rest and ponder an idea – I’d later find her doing push-ups or squats, anything but resting. The challenges she accepts always come in the form of physical fatigue. Those challenges have lead to experience God’s directional voice in her life.

Another child of mine will spend hours and hours drawing. Her sketches reflect her time, they’re detailed, imaginative, and inspiring her to write stories behind their confident expressions. Recently, I challenged her to draw our family portrait, she accepted, and it now it hangs on our dining room wall. If I were to ask her to mow the lawn or organize the shoe shelf … I’d still be waiting.

Are you seeing the pattern yet? What challenges will you accept and what will you not?

Challenges promote growth, they push you into uncomfortable areas, and they inspire you! If we can stop looking back at the should have moments, and look presently at the I can do this, moments – we will begin to see our purpose come alive and actively pressing us forward.

Growing up was challenge, marriage is a challenge, raising kids is a challenge, careers, aging parents, sicknesses, the list runs on and on … hidden within all the challenges are purposeful callings, gifts, and direction our Lord takes us on. Be inspired and at rest knowing you’re doing (through your yes’s) Heaven’s purpose. Embrace those challenges with full confidence that you are partnering with Christ Jesus – the Author and perfecter of your faith … the One who places the desire in your heart to grow, learn, succeed, and live with purpose.

Hey! Why not subscribe? In between homeschooling and business running – I sit down and write the words that brought me clarity. My purpose in it, is to give those words to you. 🙂

In Continuation . . .

Images of silk dresses, high heels and freshly curled hair filled my text thread … my daughter looked beautiful. Her friends took her out to celebrate this monumental birthday and her momma was thankful God provided friends in her new state she now calls home, Texas. Food, drinks, and laughter carried her well into the night and into the morning hours. It was the Cowboy (she calls him), with his southern draw that summed up my daughter’s existence in one tired statement, “When Gawd made you, He sure didn’t put the quit’n in ya.”

I believe, when God made man and woman, He didn’t create quitters – there are times when we’re required to rest, but always continue moving forward. History proves that statement – from the beginning of man’s documentation of life on earth, we can see written into our DNA is a story of survival and continuation.

What if this year wasn’t about starting something new – rather a continuation of what you began?

Perhaps the path you’ve been on has been wearisome – this past year has come with heart retching stories. It’s OK to rest and take time to gather your strength in the Word. Then, when it’s time (and you’ll know) keep taking one step – God didn’t create a quitter, He created continuation. What may feel like an end, in Christ, is always a new beginning.

Here are some good questions to ponder for the new year and the continuation on your path.

What have you started that you want to continue?

Ex.: Daily walks, more reading, family dinners, thoughtful planning … inner healing & forgiveness

2. If you could take anything into the new year (tangible or spiritual) what would you take?

Ex.: My family & friendships, my curiosity, my peace … trust in a faithful God

What is something you did this past year that you enjoyed and think about often?

Ex.: an expressed talent, a time when you were courageous, a goal you achieved … started a new tradition

My hope is that you’ll see within these questions the things God has begun in you … and hopefully a continuation in those areas! Let’s keep going, no quit’n here! It’s time to walk confidently into the new year and hang on securely to the work God has begun.

Be blessed,

“I will continue taking time to connect with nature, daily if possible. Where impatience has gotten the better of my mood, I will continue to follow Father’s leading. When my fears scream, I will trust – when my heart breaks, I will surrender. I will hang on tightly to Father’s truths, His promises, and Hope. I will spoil myself from time to time, remembering that pleasure and enjoyments aren’t soulish or for the weak-willed … instead, they are a gift.”

Regaining Control of Social Media

I really don’t know how to say this, I suppose frankly is the only way … I’m taking back the reins on social media. Hopefully my words don’t come across as bitter or snarky, that’s not my intention. My intention is to inspire you into a life of freedom. This fourth quarter of the year has had me doing a lot of cleaning (cause, what else is there to do?). I’ve been decluttering everywhere from my kitchen cupboards to my bathroom vanity bottom drawer (the graveyard of all things beauty related that betrayed me). The more I declutter, the freer I feel. With scaled down closets and empty corners, come a renewed hope in possibility. Without the burden of weight unused, I gain the freedom to live lighter and happier.

Marie Kondo wrote in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

“Don’t keep gifts out of guilt,” “After the joy of the gift-giving moment is through, you can donate the gift without guilt. It has served its purpose.”

Obliviously Marie’s principles apply well to the “re-gifting” closet stash … but what about social media? Is social media bringing you joy? If not, I have some ideas to help you de-clutter your social accounts.

Start Unfriending

We all have “friends” on Facebook that aren’t truly a friend. These are the people you’ve met once, then you got a friend request from them. They wander in and out of your life through a “like” or maybe a comment soon after the first connection. Years later they still appear in your friend list yet you have no real relationship. It’s OK to unfriend the “I met them from back when . . .” The smaller your friend list becomes, the more you’ll engage with the people you want to have online interaction with.

Use social media as a relational tool

With a smaller friend list, I can engage in the lives of people I truly want to be connected with. No more mindless scrolling through countless posts I have no care about seeing … and wasn’t going to interact with. If you’re scrolling past them without care, why keep them in your news feed? Those family pictures, memes, or updates – now call to my attention in a relational way. Social media can be an encouraging and a fun social tool if we’re able to make our world a little smaller by interacting with those we truly want to be in connection with.

Your account, your rules

If someone has not treated you well in person, why allow them into your online social life? Having a Facebook account does not mean you have to have all your family, neighbors, office staff, high school friends, church acquaintances, etc., be involved in your online life. It’s OK to not be friends with everyone, in fact it’s freeing. If you’re feeling guilty about unfriending someone, ask yourself why? Then remind yourself that this is your account, you get to decide the parameters and boundaries of your interactions.

Facebook isn’t going anywhere and chances are your friends who use it aren’t either (Believe me, I’ve tried to get mine to switch to a different social platform… and failed!). With some social de-cluttering, you can experience joy in your social accounts. Much like everything else we own, let it be purposeful with intentional use – to comment, like, engage and encourage!

Do you have any ideas for cleaning up social media? Or have you already? I’d love to hear, drop me a comment!

♥