How often do we stand at a decision-making moment only to feel overwhelmed and scared? For me, it feels like I’m standing in the middle of a seven-lane highway during rush hour. The trucks, cars and semis are my various size thoughts that revolve around my choice – some carry more weight than others – some are erratic and steer wildly – some take up more space and I can’t see past them. In those moments of needing to choose I feel overwhelmed. Relate?
Then there are the choices made by others that affect us. Choices our parents made – choices our children make – choices made by those we’ve come to love. When their choice hurts or harms us, it feels like an injustice has been done. Our heart yelps, it’s not fair, I didn’t choose this! Or, we feel frustrated, if only they’d have chosen differently! Keep reading, friend, I will address this too.
Choices, the one’s we make, and the one’s we didn’t … how do we navigate them?
For the analytical type, there are some strategies that help when making a decision. Such as asking yourself questions like these:
- What is the probable outcome of the choice I’m about to make?
- What outcomes are highly unlikely?
- What are the likely outcomes of not choosing this one?
- What would be the outcome of doing the exact opposite?
For the emotionally driven type – Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota came up with a “Why” driven approach to problem solving. When needing to make a decision, ask yourself “why” five times (or more) until the question leads you to the root cause of the choice you’re about to make.
Example: Why do I want a dog?
Why? – Because I want a companion to hike/walk with.
Why? – Because moving my body and being in nature will help me.
Why? – Because I’ve been through a hard season of motherhood.
Why? – And my heart feels broken, fragmented … in need of love and dedication without tension.
Why? – So, I can heal.
Two years ago, those were my why’s. The last why was the root of my choice – I wanted a dog because I felt a dog would help me heal. This approach can feel abstract; however, it can lead you down some insightful trails of why you do what you do – or, are choosing to do what you do.
Lastly, for those choices we didn’t make that affect us deeply, recognize who holds the responsibility for the choice. It’s not you, it’s them. Often times, when a choice is made that is near to us, we unknowingly assume responsibility for it. This happens because we deeply love the person who is responsible for the choice made. We don’t want to see them suffer or feel pain – we hurt for them, are scared for them, and we get irritated because we know there could have been a better outcome had they’d chosen differently.
In every choice we are impacted with, know this, God is able to meet us in our choice. There is no boundary, obstacle, or choice rendered that God is not able to cross into. None. For that reason, we hope in Him. Submit your choice to Jesus, allow Him in to your deciding place … listen and watch.
Psalm 139: 7-12 (MSG says it best)
Let your choice be a place of faith – where hope and trust hold hands into the next step.
Blessings,
