Moving On From A Failed Friendship

finding friends

My friend and I would talk for hours.  We’d share our struggles and confront our feelings.  She was the one who validated my pain by nodding an “I understand” from a similar experience.  I was the one who listened and gave a shoulder to lean on when life pressed hard.  Together, we’d navigate through struggles and joy’s.  We had a connection I thought would last through time and travel.  Sadly, the friendship endured a tear it didn’t recover from. I miss being able to talk with someone who understands.  In the midst of changes … loneliness creeps in where voids are felt. 


finding friends 2












Friendships remind us we’re not alone.  They’re the familiar face you see nodding a gentle “I see you and I understand what you’re going through.”  Friendships give us stability when our world is being rocked … they help navigate us through rough waters when the only way out is to talk our way through.  What do we do when we’re left alone and navigation is silenced with the deafening sound of solitude?


Being honest with our-self opens our ears to hear Father’s navigating truth.  When we acknowledge a void, it prepares our heart to receive the goodness and growth Father has for us.  Sadly, I don’t have a method to guarantee lasting friendships nor do I have a link for “Best Friends R’ us”.  From what I’ve experienced, if a friendship has a foundation of love, instead of expectation, you’re cultivating a strong and lasting connection.  If your friendship endured a tear that isn’t healing, or if you’re looking for someone to link arms with, in my opinion, Small steps toward another are better than no steps.  


Will you walk these steps with me?


< Forgiveness.  Oh, that word!  How many times must I forgive?!  The unbearable answer is … every time I’m angry.  It’s okay to feel angry, it’s okay to judge a situation in an attempt to understand where your heart is at … from experience I can say, don’t remain in anger.  You must continually take small steps away from that which tries to pull you in.  If it’s anger, keep forgiving.  If it’s rejection, keep focusing on Father’s love for you.  It’s a terrible thing when someone chooses to remain right in their eye’s instead of humble in the sight of Father’s.  Pain will cloud our perspective, forgiveness opens our eye’s to see beyond our heartache.


< Trust.  When I was eight, my mom and dad divorced … as my mom and dad moved on, it felt like I was left behind.  I grew up without the day in and day out companionship of a mother.  When my daughter turned eight I said to God, “I don’t know how to go any further!” and He gently answered, “I will be your Mother.”  Where people have backed out, Father steps in.  I trust His friendship.  Small steps toward trusting His companionship, day in and day out, has brought me wisdom as well as direction.  Our confidence in His friendship is found by cultivating our relationship with Him.  He may not be the person whom I can talk for hours with, Father gets to the point quickly … He is the heart whisper that remains constant and steers my attitude, my heart and my focus.


< Vulnerability.  If you give me a little, I will give you a lot … that seems to be how I do friendships.  I’m not good at being the one to make the first move.  People have called me guarded when really, I’m just observing and taking in all the unspoken insights I see.  However, to make a friend we need to be willing to take the small steps toward initiating conversation It can be scary, at least for me, I hate rejection and I want to dive deep into hidden chambers and unspoken thoughts … I’ve learned trusted friendships take time to develop and vulnerability nurtures their growth.  Although setting boundaries can be healthy, boundaries can also become our walls we hide pride and fear behind.


While some friends stay with us, some may leave.  We can’t let the ones that choose to leave, stop of us from cultivating new friends. If you’re at loss from a friend tear that still bleeds … take time to grieve, time to forgive … stay connected to Father, He’ll lead you.  If you’re in a season of starting over, imagine the potential!  You are not at a loss, rather an expansion of the beauty you have to offer another.  Your season, your struggle … it’s to share with a friend!  You were created to link arms and walk with love.  Let’s not be discouraged but rather encouraged with the endless possibilities Father will bring our way.  With a few small steps … let’s make some friends. ♥ ♥  How are you going to take the first step?





Let’s be email friends.  :-)

September 26, 2017