For the wife who is hurting … my prayer is you’ll see how close God is to you, how He tenderly meets all your needs in His ways. I pray you never feel alone rather seen, heard, accepted, valued, and held close.
During the first many years of marriage loneliness was a companion of mine. My husband’s new job provided me the ability to stay home with our two small children – however, he’d be gone several days at a time with only a few precious hours at home between his trips away. My days were busy chasing little ones around – feeding, cleaning, wiping, washing … bath time, story time, bed time – over and over by myself.
I missed my husband. Actually, the loneliness was bigger than just missing my husband, I was sad my new little family was missing time with their dad.
Loneliness may have been a weighty companion; however, no weight is too heavy for God. In amongst the chasing and wiping, God saw and heard my heart, it was there that God called himself what I’d long to receive – He called Himself my Husband.
Thank you, Lord, but it’s not the same. I couldn’t feel my husband’s skin or watch him play with our kids through God – how would God be my husband and give me the companionship I desired? I’d thought I misheard until I read this …
For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth. For the Lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, like a youthful wife when you were refused,” Says your God. Isaiah 54: 5,6
I imagine that if God called Himself a Husband, then He already knew you would need Him. For the wife who feels alone, neglected, rejected … abused, wounded, violated … heartbroken and angry. God made Himself a name for you to lean into, trust, and find healing.
God calls Himself your Husband because there are areas of your heart that only He can see and knows how to repair; the unspoken heartache, the thoughts and feelings that weigh heavy. With God there is no sin separating your relationship – no boundaries crossed, no words or acts to be forgiven, no loneliness with His leading.
There are some pains that cannot be mended by our husband – and no love language can speak loud enough to cover the pain. Some wounds occurred prior to marriage and others happened within the safety of marriage. When two people decide to enter into covenant they are also deciding to sanctify, purify, and bring each other closer to their Maker. Eventually our need for Jesus will be revealed in major and minor ways – and in those hard, enduring moments we must lay our husband at the foot of the cross while we lean upon the heart of God our Husband.
In those hard years I learned a lot and healed a lot – all those lessons grew our marriage and created in me a tenacity to never give up on each other, to never think I was too overcome or life would be better elsewhere … no, the companionship God gave healed past and present wounds and breathed life into dull and forsaken areas.
How do you do this? How do you lean onto the heart of God your Husband? … humility, vulnerability, and honesty. For me, it was a matter of seeing the work at hand as the foundation for our future. My children needed me, my husband needed me … and therefore I needed more of God. Your leaning may look different, it may look like you reaching out for professional help or a trusted friend to pray with you. This is leaning – humbling ourselves to invite help, being vulnerable enough to allow insight and letting the truth of our pain bring the truth of God’s Word.
If your marriage is less than what you’d hoped for or perhaps you feel an ache for more, let that pain be an indication of what you need from God your Husband. No matter what your reality is, God trumps your reality with His leadership. Your Maker is your Husband and He will bind up the wounds and give you beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61)
Pursuing Him together,
Let’s stay connected
