Have you ever read a book or taken a class and realized the information received is something you’re already practicing? Or applying in your life? That’s what happened when I took my REBT Life Coach certification training program. If you’re a deep thinker or someone who is very honest with their feelings – then you too are probably already practicing this. However, if you’re a person who has a hard time breaking away from destructive thoughts and emotions and they seem to have a repeat pattern in your life … then you will benefit from REBT.
Our thoughts play a big part in how we feel and what we do. And unlike some approaches that tell you to “think positive” or “radiate positive energy” mingled with “laws of attraction” … REBT is different. It’s practical, it’s rational, it’s for the person who desires a clear and controllable path to health.
R: rational, deconstructing the irrational thoughts
E: emotive, emotions are affected by irrational thoughts
B: behavioral, how a person feels is how they will react to what they are thinking
T: therapy/teaching, training techniques that can be learned
Let me give you a personal example of what this looks like …
As someone who lives with a chronic condition, daily life and future plans can feel unattainable and depressing. Meaning, I can feel defeated or overcome before the task or day presents itself. Why? Because my thoughts will tell me that I’ll probably be in pain … that I’ll be left behind and forgotten about … that my family is lacking because of me … that there is no escape, no help, and no solution.
This is the irrational thinking that engages my emotions and leads me to behave depressed, reclusive, and hesitant to experience joy in planning or preparing for future endeavors.
How do we (I) break free from the irrational thoughts (mind-set)? My way is slightly different from the textbook – it always supplies the truth when I am honest with myself.
Applying the R: Rational
Identifying my present thoughts that are evoking my emotions – then, injecting truth.
I feel broken … the truth is, Jesus is bigger than my pain
I feel left behind … the truth is, I must live in the today, not the past nor the future – therefore I must think upon what is content-full for today.
I feel defeated … the truth is, this is temporary and God will provide in all I need.
This is an example of Paul saying in 2 Corinthians, “Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.”
E: Emotive
My emotions are now engaged and fueled with healthy thoughts. I look around at the present – my bed is comfortable, a hot shower feels nice, I send a “thinking of you & love you” text to my kids, I feel gentle and humble, content, and hopeful … when our thoughts are healthy our behavior follows.
B: Behavior
When healthy and rational thoughts are steering our emotions, our behavior is manageable. We are not speaking to cause guilt/shame/blame, we are not having angry outburst or sudden eruptive behavior. When our thoughts are infusing emotions with health, our behavior feels safe to ourselves and to others.
What you do with your thoughts is not involuntary – your emotions are not controlling you – and your behavior is teachable.
By changing our thoughts, we change our behavior … because instead of evoking unhealthy emotional reactions, we send healthy and rational strength to our behaviors.
The thing you’re struggling with, wouldn’t it feel good to be free of it? To release the burden of heavy thoughts that lead to heavier feelings? Often times it’s not our tasks that wear us down and deplete our strength … it’s the thoughts we carry that weaken us.
Our struggles are as unique as our fingerprint and as common as having a hand … you are not alone with the struggle (or irrational thoughts) you’re having. And here’s the other thing … there is nothing new under the sun. No teaching is new – no technique has been discovered that God didn’t already know about. In His Word and in relationship, there is clarity and understanding for those who apply it. Application may look differently but the substance is the same. God has given us full control over our thoughts, emotions, and behavior … and when we submit all those to Him, He gives us health in abundance.
If you’d like to have more application to REBT or connect further, join my email list. From there you’ll be able to reply to my emails with questions or personal input. My goal is to further offer tools and revelations as to how to identify and break free from mindsets that are weighing you down.
Keep walking in His freedom,
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