I Wish The Church Knew This About Introverts

I’ll let you in on a secret – I truly don’t like church chairs. They have no arm rest, this means the person next to me can invade my space with an elbow or worse, a thigh!  The chairs come equipped with a hook used to latch the next chair and prevent movement … sounds like entrapment to me! I get it, keep the space organized.  I could introvert-idly critique many more aspects; however, I’ll stop because what I truly desire isn’t about my comfort. In fact, the things I wish the church knew, also push me out of some comfort zones.

There have been many Sunday mornings where I’ve stood staring into my bathroom mirror. With puffy eye’s, messy hair and smeared mascara, I will debate with myself about going to church or staying home.  For an introvert, staying home always feels right.  However, deep down inside, there is some cosmic pull (or guilt) that causes us to turn on the shower, lather up and put on something comfortable.   It is not organized religion we want – it’s the hope and desire of being a part of something bigger than ourselves.

 I wish the church knew; relationships are the driving force that bring about change.

My “come to Jesus” moment wasn’t because I was told I should go to church.  It wasn’t because of the flashing lights or a spectacular worship band.  It was because someone took the time to talk on the phone, meet me for coffee, invite me to their house and help me navigate my pain with understanding and a listening ear.  An introvert needs time to talk, yes, we actually do enjoy talking when given time to formulate our thoughts.  This is where change occurs, as we navigate our thoughts we end up drawing those around us toward a deeper understanding of a love we feel or have experienced.  

We need to be given questions with respect to find our answers.

Introverts love to think. We are usually rolling ideas around in our head or contemplating some life lessons … we love to make sense of our world by going inward and studying all aspects in question. Therefore, being told what to think or what to say, is like slamming a door to our greatest resource. I’ve known many to stay home on Sunday’s because they were simply done being told how to live or what to think.

We enjoy good questions, questions that challenge our perspectives; something that stirs us deeply rather than being pushed into a go-with-the-flow mentality.  And this: don’t assume your questions will cause us to agree with you, be willing to be challenged as well.

Most importantly, 

I wish the church knew, just because we like being home doesn’t mean we don’t need fellowship … we just don’t need it as often.

Most people have filled calendar spaces. Me? I prefer empty ones, that is until I crave companionship.  Being introverted comes with a hermit crab connotation; the suggestion that we simply won’t leave our homes. It’s not true.  In fact, meaningful connection gives us wings.  A conversation that includes laughter and life – truly brings out our best self!

Which brings me to say this – Church, you need us.   

You need us to challenge the chairs! Yes, you need our perspective; the perspective that has sat uncomfortably close to another while maintaining a listening ear.  You need us to give time to another – time for conversation that leads to later coffee dates … that lead to a “come to Jesus” moment that only Holy Spirit can provide through an understanding vessel.  Most importantly, you need our fellowship; fellowship that isn’t afraid of another’s pain rather pulls it close and examines it through a heart of thoughtful consideration.  We’re gifted listeners and will pause to hear when others are running by.

Church, let us live the poetry we sing on Sunday morning; the poetry that shines light on something bigger than ourselves.  For this reason, I’ll wash away smeared mascara and drive toward an ever-present hope in Christ Jesus.