“What are you assuming about me? Because, after all this time, no one here has asked me out for coffee.”
The question hung thick in the air as the group of women wondered if they should speak their thoughts? One brave woman broke the silence, “You are too busy to do anything outside of your work.” Their assumption was only half true – work was time consuming, however the lack of invites to something outside of work was based upon the assumption: there wasn’t time for what they had to offer, relationship.
The question revealed a desire for friendship, and the answer revealed their doubt of their worthy companionship.
Assumptions we make reveal our insecurities, our pride, our judgments, and our unwillingness to ask questions. When we assume something about someone, we are reflecting a judgment based on our opinion.
The lady who bravely presented the question was not me … did you assume it was? However, her question has struck a nerve in me – her willing act of vulnerability allowed for transparency, open communication, and connection. She willingly hung her heart out for examination from her peers, examination of her actions as well as her desire for relationship.
Chances are, you’ve also made assumptions about people – and your assumptions have been reflected in your actions.
- If you assumed someone was angry with you, you may have avoided them.
- If you assumed someone was more gifted than you, you may have felt insecure around them.
- If you assumed someone had a ‘perfect life’, you may feel jealously toward them.
My thoughts were put to the test after pondering my friend’s brave question. My own assumptions of someone left me feeling insecure. There is a woman whom I admire greatly. Our relationship is merely acquaintances. When I see her, I assume I have nothing to add to her intellect and her giftedness, … I assume, I am less than …
After a brief encounter with this woman, my assumptions were drastically proven wrong – we talked about how our art impacts others. She shared with me an insecurity she had and I was able to relate and exchange with her biblical perspective that drives my motives and exposes God’s pleasures. My insecurities were silenced and open dialect was exchanged because the assumptions I was making were not given space to grow between us.
Can you relate? Do the assumptions you make drive space between you and someone else? Here is what I’ve learned – the assumptions we make, reveal our need for Christ to communicate a fact to us.
There are facts (proven truths) that we need reminding of from time to time, such as:
- You are given relationship
- You are gifted
- You are beautiful
- You are strong
- You have purpose
All these and more are truths we often times hide behind assumptions we make. Be brave today – stop allowing assumptions to dominate relationships. Ask questions, be vulnerable knowing the truth of what God has equipped you with, HIM! I hope this stirs some courage in you! Cast away assumptions with vulnerable and sincere dialect with God and others.
Blessings,