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Ask Yourself This Question

Have you ever found yourself mumbling the question, “What am I doing with my life?” For me, this question usually arises after I’ve seen someone become successful doing what they love, or moments when I’m bored with my daily routines. Am I the only one who questions what my life’s ambitions should be? Or what I will do when x,y, & z happen?

What will I do when homeschooling comes to an end? Should I be navigating toward something else? … Am I doing what God wants me to be doing?

If you ever wonder what you’re supposed to be doing on planet earth, I’d like to help you solve that riddle with one simple question – What are the challenges you say yes to?

At the age of eight, I wanted to be an astronaut. Pair the sense of adventure with math and … I’m out. Math quickly overcame my desire to soar into outer space. Challenge, not accepted.

My guidance counselor tried setting my purposeful course too – when he asked what I wanted to do upon leaving high school, I said with shrugged shoulders, “Be an artist.” His response took the wind and hope out of my directional sails, “OK.” looking down at his papers, “Let’s find you a real job.” Hello business management courses. After a few years of unsuccessful schooling, good bye college.

My daughter enjoys watching the television show, Shark Tank. Shark Tank is an American business reality television series that has a panel of celebrity entrepreneurs such as Mark Cuban, Kevin O’Leary, and Lori Greiner. These multi-million dollar business celebrities engage in business proposals. This show gives me anxiety – I feel every desperate emotion presented in every desperate sales pitch. It’s as if every contestant has found their life’s purpose in whatever idea or invention they’ve come up with. They’ve sacrificed time, money, and reputation to see their product succeed with great monetary success. They’re so focused – and I feel like a loser by not having the ambition and drive they have.

Simultaneously, I find it exhausting and encouraging to watch. The problem with shows like Shark Tank is that our purpose is not a bottom line, marketing technique, or percentage of gross sales – and we’ve settled to the idea that our purpose must be wrapped in money to experience value in it.

What are the challenges you’ve said yes to?

Personally, I’ve said yes to marriage when I could have focused on college. I’ve said yes to children when I could have placed my energy into a career. Yes, to homeschooling when the public school is next door to me. All these moments were calling moments, why? Because every one of them came with challenges I was willing to accept.

The challenges you’ve accepted reveal the God given gifts in you; gifts and talents that lead to life fulfilling moments, seasons, and purposeful direction. I’m convinced searching for our purpose in life is as easy as watching what challenges we grab onto.

My oldest daughter will challenge herself physically with great tenacity (always did) – she is now embarking on the Air Force with medical endeavors in mind. If I’d challenged her to rest and ponder an idea – I’d later find her doing push-ups or squats, anything but resting. The challenges she accepts always come in the form of physical fatigue. Those challenges have lead to experience God’s directional voice in her life.

Another child of mine will spend hours and hours drawing. Her sketches reflect her time, they’re detailed, imaginative, and inspiring her to write stories behind their confident expressions. Recently, I challenged her to draw our family portrait, she accepted, and it now it hangs on our dining room wall. If I were to ask her to mow the lawn or organize the shoe shelf … I’d still be waiting.

Are you seeing the pattern yet? What challenges will you accept and what will you not?

Challenges promote growth, they push you into uncomfortable areas, and they inspire you! If we can stop looking back at the should have moments, and look presently at the I can do this, moments – we will begin to see our purpose come alive and actively pressing us forward.

Growing up was challenge, marriage is a challenge, raising kids is a challenge, careers, aging parents, sicknesses, the list runs on and on … hidden within all the challenges are purposeful callings, gifts, and direction our Lord takes us on. Be inspired and at rest knowing you’re doing (through your yes’s) Heaven’s purpose. Embrace those challenges with full confidence that you are partnering with Christ Jesus – the Author and perfecter of your faith … the One who places the desire in your heart to grow, learn, succeed, and live with purpose.

Hey! Why not subscribe? In between homeschooling and business running – I sit down and write the words that brought me clarity. My purpose in it, is to give those words to you. 🙂

Regaining Control of Social Media

I really don’t know how to say this, I suppose frankly is the only way … I’m taking back the reins on social media. Hopefully my words don’t come across as bitter or snarky, that’s not my intention. My intention is to inspire you into a life of freedom. This fourth quarter of the year has had me doing a lot of cleaning (cause, what else is there to do?). I’ve been decluttering everywhere from my kitchen cupboards to my bathroom vanity bottom drawer (the graveyard of all things beauty related that betrayed me). The more I declutter, the freer I feel. With scaled down closets and empty corners, come a renewed hope in possibility. Without the burden of weight unused, I gain the freedom to live lighter and happier.

Marie Kondo wrote in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

“Don’t keep gifts out of guilt,” “After the joy of the gift-giving moment is through, you can donate the gift without guilt. It has served its purpose.”

Obliviously Marie’s principles apply well to the “re-gifting” closet stash … but what about social media? Is social media bringing you joy? If not, I have some ideas to help you de-clutter your social accounts.

Start Unfriending

We all have “friends” on Facebook that aren’t truly a friend. These are the people you’ve met once, then you got a friend request from them. They wander in and out of your life through a “like” or maybe a comment soon after the first connection. Years later they still appear in your friend list yet you have no real relationship. It’s OK to unfriend the “I met them from back when . . .” The smaller your friend list becomes, the more you’ll engage with the people you want to have online interaction with.

Use social media as a relational tool

With a smaller friend list, I can engage in the lives of people I truly want to be connected with. No more mindless scrolling through countless posts I have no care about seeing … and wasn’t going to interact with. If you’re scrolling past them without care, why keep them in your news feed? Those family pictures, memes, or updates – now call to my attention in a relational way. Social media can be an encouraging and a fun social tool if we’re able to make our world a little smaller by interacting with those we truly want to be in connection with.

Your account, your rules

If someone has not treated you well in person, why allow them into your online social life? Having a Facebook account does not mean you have to have all your family, neighbors, office staff, high school friends, church acquaintances, etc., be involved in your online life. It’s OK to not be friends with everyone, in fact it’s freeing. If you’re feeling guilty about unfriending someone, ask yourself why? Then remind yourself that this is your account, you get to decide the parameters and boundaries of your interactions.

Facebook isn’t going anywhere and chances are your friends who use it aren’t either (Believe me, I’ve tried to get mine to switch to a different social platform… and failed!). With some social de-cluttering, you can experience joy in your social accounts. Much like everything else we own, let it be purposeful with intentional use – to comment, like, engage and encourage!

Do you have any ideas for cleaning up social media? Or have you already? I’d love to hear, drop me a comment!

♥

I Wish The Church Knew This About Introverts

I’ll let you in on a secret – I truly don’t like church chairs. They have no arm rest, this means the person next to me can invade my space with an elbow or worse, a thigh! The chairs come equipped with a hook used to latch the next chair and prevent movement … sounds like entrapment to me! I get it, keep the space organized. I could introvert-idly critique many more aspects; however, I’ll stop because what I truly desire isn’t about my comfort. In fact, the things I wish the church knew, also push me out of some comfort zones.

There have been many Sunday mornings where I’ve stood staring into my bathroom mirror. With puffy eye’s, messy hair and smeared mascara, I will debate with myself about going to church or staying home. For an introvert, staying home always feels right. However, deep down inside, there is some cosmic pull (or guilt) that causes us to turn on the shower, lather up and put on something comfortable. It is not organized religion we want – it’s the hope and desire of being a part of something bigger than ourselves.

I wish the church knew; relationships are the driving force that bring about change.

My “come to Jesus” moment wasn’t because I was told I should go to church. It wasn’t because of the flashing lights or a spectacular worship band. It was because someone took the time to talk on the phone, meet me for coffee, invite me to their house and help me navigate my pain with understanding and a listening ear. An introvert needs time to talk, yes, we actually do enjoy talking when given time to formulate our thoughts. This is where change occurs, as we navigate our thoughts we end up drawing those around us toward a deeper understanding of a love we feel or have experienced.

We need to be given questions with respect to find our answers.

Introverts love to think. We are usually rolling ideas around in our head or contemplating some life lessons … we love to make sense of our world by going inward and studying all aspects in question. Therefore, being told what to think or what to say, is like slamming a door to our greatest resource. I’ve known many to stay home on Sunday’s because they were simply done being told how to live or what to think.

We enjoy good questions, questions that challenge our perspectives; something that stirs us deeply rather than being pushed into a go-with-the-flow mentality. And this: don’t assume your questions will cause us to agree with you, be willing to be challenged as well.

Most importantly,

I wish the church knew, just because we like being home doesn’t mean we don’t need fellowship … we just don’t need it as often.

Most people have filled calendar spaces. Me? I prefer empty ones, that is until I crave companionship. Being introverted comes with a hermit crab connotation; the suggestion that we simply won’t leave our homes. It’s not true. In fact, meaningful connection gives us wings. A conversation that includes laughter and life – truly brings out our best self!

Which brings me to say this – Church, you need us.

You need us to challenge the chairs! Yes, you need our perspective; the perspective that has sat uncomfortably close to another while maintaining a listening ear. You need us to give time to another – time for conversation that leads to later coffee dates … that lead to a “come to Jesus” moment that only Holy Spirit can provide through an understanding vessel. Most importantly, you need our fellowship; fellowship that isn’t afraid of another’s pain rather pulls it close and examines it through a heart of thoughtful consideration. We’re gifted listeners and will pause to hear when others are running by.

Church, let us live the poetry we sing on Sunday morning; the poetry that shines light on something bigger than ourselves. For this reason, I’ll wash away smeared mascara and drive toward an ever-present hope in Christ Jesus.

Dear Parent On The Verge of Homeschooling

Are you part of the mighty wave of homeschoolers sweeping across our nation? If you’re reading this you’ve, at the very least, considered it. Before you add another how to article to your Homeschooling Pinterest board – let this strengthen your confidence and reaffirm your plans. ♥

#1: Your child will not lose academic ground.

Imagine a group of children riding bikes down a road. They all must stay within the safe lines and move at the same pace. They are all seeing and experiencing the same scenery. Some are distracted by the rider in front, another is being bumped by the rider in back … one thing is for sure, the goal in mind is to get all the children to the same place at the same time.

Now imagine a little boy daring enough to venture down a side trail. He veers off and is surrounded with wild flowers, trees with out stretched canopy’s, wildlife, streams with jumping frogs and camouflaged fish … the scope of his learning adventure has been greatly widened and richly experienced.

This is not in criticism to the public school; this is about enriching your child with applicable tools learned through self-navigation and curious pursuit. At the end of the school year, your child will have multiple memories of great learning adventures through books, museums, documentaries – and much more! Their character and sense of belonging will be sculpted and strengthened as you engage them with house chores, visits with friends and family, and instill in them their intricate and necessary role they occupy in your family.

No, your child will not lose academic ground – they’ll learn to navigate their academics with curiosity, and in doing so, those lessons become foundations to their life-long successes.

#2: Now is the time.

Our children are being engaged in an adult world – they’re being placed in predicaments that many mature adults struggle to navigate! With emotional responses and ignorance that abounds, our children are forced to live in survival mode on a daily basis. Their developing brains are learning how to cope, survive and make sense of their surrounding – we must not let trauma teach them.

Now is the time to protect them, nurture them and develop their world-view. Now is the time to discuss Marxism, Socialism, Communism, Capitalism … freedoms we have (like homeschooling) and how we got them. Now is the time to encourage learning by demonstrating learning. You will not have all the answers and that’s good – you will demonstrate to your child on how to search for answers to formulate a well thought out opinion. An opinion that is not swayed by fear or pressure – but stands firm on a solid foundation of research and truth.

#3: This homeschooling gig is temporary.

Take it from a woman who has graduated two from homeschooling. The season of having our children home all day does not last. Each grade goes by faster than the previous. There will come a day when bedrooms get dusty and no longer require your cleaning lectures. Without causing you to weep over time gone by and time running out – do something today (and every day) that empowers the present.

Empower your home with activity that encourages growth, curiosity and peace.

You can do this, and for what it’s worth – I’m proud of you. You’re taking a stand against that which is causing destruction. Most admirably you’re stepping onto grounds you may not have wanted to step on nor thought you ever would! In time you’ll see all the wonderful benefits of homeschooling – and there are many! Give your children time to acclimate to their new ways of learning and give yourself some grace to not have everything perfectly figured out or planned well. You’ll learn together what works and what doesn’t. I pray you see all the blessings that are in your off-road academic adventures.

More encouraging reads!

♥ We Left Public School, You Can Too!

♥ Dear Homeschool Mom Who Works At Home